time

Today was a good day overall. Well...the last part of it was good. I am again feeling confident about choosing medicine as a career. This semester has sucked big time and I was feeling unenthusiastic and depressed about the idea of med school. I am a perfectionist. I expect myself to get straight A's and am confident in my ability to study hard enough to do so. Sooooo when things don't turn out exactly the way I expect or things present difficulty I am seriously surprised...at least when it comes to school. ANYWAYS today I got my enthusiasm back. The pre-med society had a medical student panel....Maryland alum who are now med students came in and talked to us and answered questions. It brought me back to reality and made me feel like medicine is really a very suitable career choice for me and that I am going to be fine and I should just have fun and try to get as many awesome experiences as I can. My grades will be good enough so just have fun...embrace it as a dream...not as an obligation...BECAUSE IT IS NOT AN OBLIGATION. This is something i really want to do, I can do it, I am going to be a great doctor. I need to remember that everything is going to be fine. I am human and it is all going to work out just great! So it was inspiring to say the least :-).

The other thing I find (when i get excited again..and don't feel crappy) is that there is so much i want to do...so many experiences I want to have...but there is soooo little time to have all these experiences it seems. I want to do this research program at UCSF this coming summer, I want to work in the lab at FDA this year, I want to shadow some doctors, I want to do some tutoring, I want to travel, I want to become an EMT...and there just isn't enough time...oh yeah and I hafta go to school too! I am SURE i left a lot of things out of that list hmm like less structured things like...being obsessed with MD women's bball, maybe meeting a boy....Anyways...how can i do it all???